Fish out of water
Today the empty void begins to form. With the close of Cross Country and now Government Team, two of the activities that came to define my high school career tumble to an untimely end. It’s funny how some things, some people, some hobbies, become so interwoven in the fiber of your being that when the threads come lose, you feel as if there is almost nothing left.
When I first realized that we were not going to nationals, my eyes grew watery, but I held back the tears. When I saw everyone else crying, my eyes grew watery, but I held back the tears. When Jeff and Patrick and everyone started giving their “speeches” on the bus, my eyes grew watery. But the tears did not begin to spill until I got home and unpacked, realizing that the enormous abyss of emptiness entrenched within my heart no longer had anything to swallow.
Call me a sore loser, call me delusional, but I have never seen all twenty nine of us perform at such a high level all together before. We were firing the judge’s arrows right back at them so passionately and so eloquently I wouldn’t have been surprised if the judges got scared and hid behind their podiums. I suppose the question still ringing in my head is: how could we have lost? We were brimming with potential and I went in with the presumption that if we put our minds and our hearts together, this team of superheros could not lose. I suppose I was wrong, because when we held each other’s trembling hands as they announced the winners, the unity among us was the strongest I had ever felt. We had sacrificed not only time and effort, but more importantly, we had given ourselves.
Naively, and irrationally, I was almost surprised that other schools were there. Of course I knew there would be other schools, but when I heard them talking about units and Federalist Papers, it was strange because I felt that Constitution Team was something unique to Arcadia. To me, the other teams never existed and still don’t exist. Although I always wanted us to do our best, the competition never really mattered at all, it was simply the process that I was so grateful to be part of. There is something special in the culture we have cultivated within this program. Our traditional Monday nights at chambers and unit meetings with our coaches, and all the inside jokes and habits we have developed within our units belong only to us. Through the meetings we attempted to carve out of everyone’s hectic schedules, we transformed from acquaintances sitting somewhat awkwardly together, to family members amazed that there was once a time in the not too long past when we hardly knew each other’s names. Sometimes my unit mates make me want to give up on humanity (this is not an exaggeration, this is an inside joke), but in the end I am truly thankful for everyone’s contribution and for making Arcadia Gov. Team what it is.
On the night before finals, a teacher from Monte Vista came to visit and helped ask a few questions. When he was done, he said I don’t know if you guys get to see any of the other teams perform, but Arcadia is truly exceptional.
What I was scared of losing the most was not winning, it was not being able to extend this journey for three more months and experiencing Washington D.C. Winning means nothing to me. If the top three teams were able to advance to nationals, I would not care at all that we got third. As Jeff said, we don’t need recognition for our achievements. Simply looking at how far we have gone, everyone had already achieved enough to make Mr.Fox proud, to make each other proud.
Third place is not a dead end that spells the end of the road. I want to continue learning, screaming at each other in D10, listening to npr, singing Hey Soul Sister and Love Story at the top of our lungs, and have bonding events. This is not the end, it is simply an obstacle, a mountain. A mountain that says, now that a group of ambitious and talented students are no longer working for a common competitive goal, have they really learned the lessons of their experience? Is their curiosity for the subject and the strength of the bonds they have forged going to be able to transcend the threats of dissolution once the tangible goal is taken away? Well, I believe that there ain’t no mountain high enough. Constitution Team is the best team in the World, the WORLD, THE WORLD. And no piece of metal that says third place could ever prove that to be wrong.
